manna

I am just a few days from Rwanda and I'm getting all mushy and reflective about that. Rwanda, I've learned over this past year, is a very sacred place because of the life and death that fights for a voice from its rolling hills and tear-soaked soil. But it is also very much like any place else: full of people with needs, big noisy families that laugh and love, and work that must get done. I have been wondering lately how much of what I have is handed to me by God and how everything, just everything is coming from God, one way or another.

Last night we had our last full team session; 38 of us together, practically vibrating with anticipation, praying for each other and for the people we'll meet so soon. We sat there, with every financial need met, and all fundraising over, and I giggled at how I could have ever questioned that God would pull it off. John Cassetto and Lisa Mazur, our MCC staff leaders, are so excited to go back to Rwanda and see their friends again, and bring us along like a giant truck full of gifts to them. John gets downright emotional when he talks about this. The moments in life when he sees the big "C" church being the CHURCH and doing what we're here for - these moments make him just stand in awe and when he talks about it, he glows. He weeps. I just can't wait to see what he is talking about for myself. To have the thing I'm praying for right in front of me.

I didn't expect to be this girl. I never thought I'd get to be a piece of something global. I'm not sure I ever wanted to. I can't think about that for very long, because its like looking at the sun; it starts to burn. Honestly, everything that we all do each day contributes to a big whole already, and it always has. So, why not do something little and one-step-at-a-time-ish for God?

There was a time, according to Exodus, when God fed his people himself in order to teach them about one-day-at-a-time faith. Manna is what they called the flaky coriander and honey flavored food (I always picture Baklava) that he provided, because there was no game to hunt out where they were wandering, I guess. This 'bread from heaven' fell with the morning dew each day during the period in which they had no land to call their own. By the next day, all the manna from the day before would start to rot and be inedible, so there was no saving up except the night before the Sabbath. Because God wanted to have that day of rest and worship kept holy, he gave them double food the day before. Sure enough, Sabbath would come and there would be no manna in the morning.

But, why?

"In the desert, the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, 'If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.'" Exodus 16:2 In other words, "We'd rather die and be slaves to those tyrants still than suffer like this and never know whether we're going to have food tomorrow!" But, God had his reasons.

When I said yes to joining a team and doing community development through local churches in Rwanda for a few weeks in August, my circumstances were very different than they are today: we were both employed. It was not that much of a stretch for Dave and I to imagine my involvement at this level. So I began informing my friends and family that they could participate by supporting us, and just after my final airfare payment came due, Dave got laid off. For a little while, we did question if we were getting new information that should change my plans, but we proceeded by faith and knew that if God didn't want me on this trip, he would most certainly put a big BOULDER in my path. He never did. So I obeyed and God provided. This is God's economy and it works. Who knew? Uh-huh.

"He humbled you, feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." Deuteronomy 8:3 This is a great GREAT mystery, but I'm ok with that. What it looks and feels like today in my life- to live on what I know to be true from God and let the rest be in his hands- is all I have to do. He's always been faithful to me, and he never owed me a thing.

Murakoze cyane, Imana. Thank you so much, God.

So, this might be my last post from this blog for a while, but I may get the chance to post updates from Rwanda. We will be blogging from http://manchesteronthemove.wordpress.com/ so please check that out! And please POST on there! I want to hear your voice.

Thanks again for every little thing you have done to keep me stoked and all your prayers!