August 13th, I am sitting on the floor of a hospital in Kirinda, Rwanda, surrounded by laughing children who have no earthly reason for their joy, except that some random Muzungu (white people) showed up here today, out of nowhere. We’re playing with a rubber ball.
When I first became interested in letting myself be fascinated with global outreach, it was terrifying to me. I believe that God grabbed my heart while I was praying for the first team that went to Rwanda last summer. As I asked that God would guide them, strengthen them and protect them, my own worldview began to shift. I followed the invitation to begin reading the books on the resource list that they posted online at Manchester On The Move, and God led me gently into other books and other outrageous facts I’d somehow never seen before. I was kind of shocked that I felt a compulsion to care – and I was ashamed, because I have walked with God for over half my life. I never really wanted to change the world before, but that’s because I never really saw it laying in pieces at my feet.
At first, I really had to climb over my own shame at having never cared enough for God’s people in other places. It’s Not About Me became my new mantra, as God healed my self-centered sadness and forgave me again and again, until I trusted that my guilt was just a crutch I was having trouble laying down. But after that, it was obvious to me that I was going to be heading to Rwanda. I began to pray this simple prayer: Please let me see Your people with Your eyes.
One month ago today in Kirinda, we journeyed over to visit the local hospital and pray with the patients who would let us. They are patients or children of patients at a hospital which may be the best place they’ve ever lived, or it may be the last place. After about 4 hours of praying bed by bed, holy soul by holy soul, we were spent. Our team began to gather in a hallway in preparation for catching our van ride home to our guesthouse and perhaps a meal, but no one was hungry, and no one was really ready to go. We were all overwhelmed by what we had just experienced. Our minds had no answers. But LOVE acts. Some times its all that love can do.
I sat down on the floor and took out a rubber ball that I brought with me, hoping for a chance to play. I started just bouncing it to myself, and kids just started coming to watch me. Then I bounced it to one little boy, and his face became radiant. The more we played the more kids joined in, and the darkness fell, but the joyful squealing of fun grew louder and louder.
This memory I’ll hold for EVER is not about what we did for them. Why did God put me there? To give me His eyes for His people. I guess I was there to pray and to play! My heartbreak mixed with their hope. It was not ‘the Muzungu to the rescue’, and it may change nothing for those kids. But I was changed. God let me love in a new language, and His love is never ever wasted.
When I first became interested in letting myself be fascinated with global outreach, it was terrifying to me. I believe that God grabbed my heart while I was praying for the first team that went to Rwanda last summer. As I asked that God would guide them, strengthen them and protect them, my own worldview began to shift. I followed the invitation to begin reading the books on the resource list that they posted online at Manchester On The Move, and God led me gently into other books and other outrageous facts I’d somehow never seen before. I was kind of shocked that I felt a compulsion to care – and I was ashamed, because I have walked with God for over half my life. I never really wanted to change the world before, but that’s because I never really saw it laying in pieces at my feet.
At first, I really had to climb over my own shame at having never cared enough for God’s people in other places. It’s Not About Me became my new mantra, as God healed my self-centered sadness and forgave me again and again, until I trusted that my guilt was just a crutch I was having trouble laying down. But after that, it was obvious to me that I was going to be heading to Rwanda. I began to pray this simple prayer: Please let me see Your people with Your eyes.
One month ago today in Kirinda, we journeyed over to visit the local hospital and pray with the patients who would let us. They are patients or children of patients at a hospital which may be the best place they’ve ever lived, or it may be the last place. After about 4 hours of praying bed by bed, holy soul by holy soul, we were spent. Our team began to gather in a hallway in preparation for catching our van ride home to our guesthouse and perhaps a meal, but no one was hungry, and no one was really ready to go. We were all overwhelmed by what we had just experienced. Our minds had no answers. But LOVE acts. Some times its all that love can do.
I sat down on the floor and took out a rubber ball that I brought with me, hoping for a chance to play. I started just bouncing it to myself, and kids just started coming to watch me. Then I bounced it to one little boy, and his face became radiant. The more we played the more kids joined in, and the darkness fell, but the joyful squealing of fun grew louder and louder.
This memory I’ll hold for EVER is not about what we did for them. Why did God put me there? To give me His eyes for His people. I guess I was there to pray and to play! My heartbreak mixed with their hope. It was not ‘the Muzungu to the rescue’, and it may change nothing for those kids. But I was changed. God let me love in a new language, and His love is never ever wasted.
(as shared Vision Sunday, Manchester Christian Church, 9/13/09, edited by Stef Cassetto)
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